It Brings Her Down

Her scars show the battles she has fought

Constantly seeing them

It brings her down.  

The feeling she got when she slid through her skin.

It was sickening

It brings her down. 

She wants to stop this trance 

Her heart is pumping 

Put it down. 

Don't do this it's not worth it

She slices

Blood trickles

It brings her down.

The tool drips with red liquid 

Happiness was her only objective

She throws the tool away. 

It brings her up. 

It's The Inside That Counts

There is always beauty, and there is always ugly. Even though everyone see's the outside..They still don't know about the inside. You could be beyond beautiful, and have a lot of money, and nice things. But they could be the cruelest, and most heartless person on the inside. Society now a days is pretty sick they only pay attention to the outside, and how skinny, and pretty you are, and the inside is just a bonus. There is another side to this, you could be not the prettiest, or popular, not the skinniest, and maybe you don't shop at the most expensive stores. But she could be the nicest person you will ever know..You would learn to love her inside, instead of just seeing what you can already look at. The way a person acts reflects on the person's outside. 

Think Before Your Actions

This weekend has been tough, but I'm hoping it will turn around this upcoming week I just need to keep thinking about staying positive. I need to keep that butterfly alive. I thought of something else that can stop your urges to cut. Just think about a 5-6 year old you, happy, so alive, energy flows through you. But imagine that little you, was brutally cut on the arm. Tears trickle down from their eyes to the floor, they're hurt. Just imagine that scene, it totally changes your perspective on things. You wouldn't ever want to hurt a little kid. So just think before you push the blade to your skin. Think of that little girl, or boy inside of you, and every time you cut its slowly ripping that little kid apart. Piece by piece, until there is nothing left. 

Semi Colon Day!

Happy Semi Colon Day! 
I have been waiting for this day for weeks, it's a day where I can just relax and think about everything that has happened..I hope I have an O.K day today. Whoever is celebrating this I hope you have a great day to. 

Again.. Happy Semi Colon Day! 

Trapped

Why am I trapped?
I want it to end, but again it keeps happening
My arms scraped to death.
I WANT TO STOP!
I'm making myself miserable from this fighting.
Just go away, stop getting in my head
it's making me sick.
The constant pain, and sorrow.

I just want to be fourteen again.
Not have to worry about anything, besides. School, family, and the things I love to do.
Please I'm begging myself, I'm on my knees for happiness again.
All the light in my eyes has gone, leaving only plainness.
I clench my fists, and eyes hoping I won't have to worry about the slashing, painful, era I'm in anymore.
I used to be upbeat, and full of energy. Though it has sadly turned to, grey depression that won't go away.

This choice I make will take a lot.
And I'm willing to do everything I can to destroy it.

All I want is to be me again.

Say All That You Have To Say

So I wanna see you crash and burn, and criticize your every word, I'm tring to keep you from goin' insane. Ain't that the way of this whole damn thing? Trying to be something, more. Nobody's gonna love you if, you can't display, away to capture this. Nobody's gonna hold you hand, and guide you through. No, it's up for you to understand. Nobody's gonna feel your pain, when all is done, and it's time for you to walk away. So when you have today, you should say all that you have to say. Say all that you have to say. Don't point the blame when you can't find nothing. Look to yourself, and you might find something. It's time that we sorted out, all of the things, we complain about. So listen close to the sound of your soul, take back a life we lived once before.

This Was My Intent

This poem is not how I actually feel, it is just a parody poem for the book By The Time You Read This I Will Be Dead.

I have swallowed

An evil substance

very evil indeed

clenching

burning

Killing my speech

forgive me

if I have lied

even though

I told you I was fine

Sadly for you

This was my intent

to move to this extent

to try and kill myself again.